From a gig I did for the U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Annual Conference (yeah, you read that right):

“Jeff managed to get a roomful of government statisticians belly-laughing with his hilarious insights into our society’s foibles. NOT an easy task! His observations are sometimes scathing, frequently a bit cynical, and always right on the mark. What a riot!”

Zoinks.

For us showbiz-y types, creating a video representation of one’s abilities and experience is both vital & frustrating. Here’s the latest attempt to compile some of the many clips of my broadcast appearances. Vids of stand-up, acting, characters, writing, etc. can be found elsewhere on this site, starting here.

Feedback welcome.

To: Boss
From: Receptionist
Re: Missed calls while you were drinking with Rand Paul, BP, & Simon Cowell

- “House Votes to Eliminate Hedge Fund Tax Break”
But but but but… they were creating so many jobs!

- OMG! Did you hear about the accident at the offshore wind farm? A bird got totally knocked off course, gusts spilled everywhere, and the wings of a butterfly in China felt completely irrelevant.

- Did the White House try to offer Joe Sestak a job to drop out to the PA Democratic primary? Probably, but, come on… If they really meant it, it would’ve been an offer he couldn’t refuse.
Kreisler-Truth is, they didn’t really like Specter, and this story gives Sestak a leg up in the general election by making it look like he’s going against the Obama Administration. Like “Duplicity” or some kinda Clive Owen film you’ve never seen. I’m not sure I’ve seen it, either, but you have no choice but to believe me. A double agent, that’s what I’m going for… It’s a double agent thing… Like, um, something Jack Bauer would’ve done on “24” to get in with the Russians. Bam! There, I did it, I found a pop culture reference. Phew.

- What’s wrong with this pic? Everything.

- “Lehman Suits Seeks $5 Billion from JPMorgan”
I don’t like it when mommy and daddy fight… (especially since I thought “mommy” was dead).

- “Some folks” don’t think banks should pay into the future rescue fund as part of financial reform. Sure they should, if they want to be people, they have to pay their version of Social Security tax.

- Connecticut Republicans choose this guy’s wife to run for U.S. Senate.
We’re getting closer to the end of everything, aren’t we?

- Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper both passed away. See, this is why I have chosen to avoid fame. I don’t want to be “the third” on any celebrity death list. Totally my choice. Nothing to do with talent or luck or stupidstupidstupid people. I truly enjoy my limited edition, elite, selective, exclusive group of friends and fans… i.e. YOU!

Happy Memorial Day Everyone! Some things…

1. Every political comic/satirist wants to be on CNN to let his or her opinion be heard far & wide. I did it… and got to talk about… Lindsay Lohan. D’oh! SO CLOSE!

2. Here’s moi a touch more serious, on the very cool “Midweek Politics” show… though still, somehow, Lilo comes up. Damn her!
Watch/listen here.

3. Wednesday! NYC! 9:30pm. Caroline’s on Broadway! A great big fantastic comedy show. It’s been a while, come see me and a handful of my favorite comedians. Details & discount code here.

On the radio today, 3pm, talking my fave… politics.
Check it: midweekpolitics.com

Whoa.

Was in Minneapolis yesterday. Spoke to a high school AP English students about writing and their futures, then performed for the Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics conference. Yeah… both parts of that day are… um… “wrong.” (I’m not qualified to do either, but both went really well).

At both stops - the school and the gig - I randomly ran into people I went to college with. In Minneapolis. I went to college in New Jersey. What is going on?

Back in NYC after a 6 am flight (with connection). Land at LGA at 11:15, get message to be at CNN in an hour. Have I mentioned no sleep? To talk about Lindsay Lohan in court.* Have I mentioned no sleep? Somehow I made it, taped it, did it… so, tonight, 5pm & 11pm, check out “Showbiz Tonight” on HLN.

Wild few days. I need a nap.

* Not quite the most important of figures, but, in a way, Lilo is as much a threat to our future as North Korean subs, offshore drilling, and “The Jersey Shore.” Be strong, America…

“Justices limit life sentences for juveniles”
A 5 to 4 decision. Really, only 5 “Justices” think the mistakes of a teenager aren’t worth the end of a life?

“Putin blames mine leaders for skimping on safety”
See, American democracy is spreading! Blame shifting, dead workers for profit, empty rhetoric. Viva!

Sorry, just need to de-clutter the mind sometimes.

Finally, FINALLY, I get my due. Interviewed by a real journalist.

More at mattsky.com

I’m on the world-famous Keith & The Girl podcast, Tuesday at 4pm. Very excited!
Tune in!

Great week at the Calgary Comedy Festival last week, now onto this one. Been a crazy, busy, fun, exhausting 2010. Lotta travel, writing, jokes, sleepless nights, spilled oil, released ash, Elena Kagans. Good, but tiring. Will recap when I can.

If you’re in Philly, I’ll be at Drexel University this Wednesday, doing the funny. More info here. (Sponsored by Drexel College Democrats).

Ugh. A certain cool NYC thing called this morning to have me by, be interesting, save the universe.
But I’m in Calgary at FunnyFest, so no can do.
Poooop.

Damn you, space-time continuum! I’ll have my revenge soon enough!

May 1-5 - Calgary Comedy Festival, FunnyFest - there will be Kreisler. Canada! Come laugh!

Aug ?-? - “Get Rich Cheating” Just accepted into the prestigious NY Fringe Festival. Pow! Watch this space for more info.

I’m heading to Atlanta tonight. Gig at Kennesaw State University Monday. Anyone around? Anyone have suggestions?

A Chinese publisher has just bought the rights to translate and publish Get Rich Cheating (in simplified characters, whatever that means).

“Commrade Kreisler to sell American secrets of success for small fee.”

I hope I get a parade!!

Official GOP flyer wants female candidate “back in the kitchen”.

Wow. The snakes sure are coming outta the weeds, aren’t they? Nothing like some non-white-males to get the haters to show their slimy heads.

Ken Blackwell, Rep. Bob Ney, GWB term #2, and now this. Really giving Arizona a run for the money as “worst place ever.”

Per @fakeresume: It seems that the facade of civility has melted away doesn’t it?

… and desperation has set in. VA Governor “forgetting” slavery, AZ asking “different” people for their papers, OH putting women “back in the kitchen”… How long until an official GOP document “accidentally” reminds their base that “Hitler had some good ideas”? (My money’s on Nevada).

Here’s some friendly advice, courtesy of The Cheater and AOL News.

Clips of my recent appearances on both MSNBC and FoxNews:

Colbert takes all the credit, but the other funny man of TV does good work, too:

… for you:

Ta da!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Hey, new visitors. Take a look around, visit some links - especially GetRichCheating.com - and shoot me an email to get on the monthly list. New stand-up and other videos soon… or (cough cough) just hire me to write or perform for you. Or just enjoy life. Up to you. No pressure.