Toyota Prius problems are caused by computer bugs engineered by the oil industry.
Prius runs on hybrid power and computer technology.
ExxonMobile has computers.
Viruses, spam, spiders, bots.
You do the math/computer engineering.
If you never hear from me again… it’s because I got sleepy.
My friend and colleague, the very funny political comedian Barry Weintraub, has a great routine called “Hip Hip Hypocrisy.” Pretty self-explanatory.
I nominate two recent items (there are plenty more):
- Sarah Palin got medical treatment in Canada as a child - because their system was so good, pre-lobotoGOP.
- Anti-gay politician is gay - kinda feel like I don’t even need to link to a specific one, as it applies to all of them. Seriously, have you heard of Rick Santorum?
I have been reviewed by the Rutgers school paper. It is here. Retirement party to commence in 5… 4…
Some highlights:
“… an afternoon of jokes and political satire that left the audience with a message of empowerment.”
“”His jokes have truth behind them,” said Cory Brask, a junior television and journalism major. “There is a message: don’t let things stand just because they are this way today.”"
“”Kreisler is a very good comedian and he made good points about current politics and its culture of power, greed and capitalism. Comedy brings people together and it’s a good way to start a conversation, for us to open up and discuss current events. That’s why we started this club”"
Pow. Thanks to the writer, the dems, and those who sacrificed their freedom for laughs.
p.s. Don’t know how many times I have to tell people, I am not a Daily Show writer. I wrote for the Indecision2008 website. I’d like to be a Daily Show writer, but I am not one. Geesh.
Sarah Palin performed stand up comedy on Leno last night. Take a deep breath and watch:
I was asked to critique her performance by Gotham Ghostwriters. Oooookay.
I’ve got to put a few things aside to analyze her comedy:
1. My political opinion of her
2. My comedy opinion of Jay Leno
3. The fact that her first time performing… was on The (expletive deleted) Tonight Show. I’m a stand up comic. I wouldn’t say I’m “bitter” or “jealous.” More like, “re-evaluating” and “crying.”
That done (be brave, Kreisler), strictly from a comedy perspective, I gotta admit, she did pretty well. She’s definitely comfortable in front of an audience, being the center of attention, and handling pressure. Those are characteristics of a comedian (and politician) that are difficult to teach. She’s a natural.
Constructive criticism time!
On the material:
- I think the material fit her very well. It was safe, simple, and straightforward. It wasn’t edgy or super original or unexpected… but that’s why it worked for her. The material sounded like her. It was in harmony with her voice, her opinion, her character… her (shudder) brand. That’s what you need to do when you write for someone else - make it sound like the person.
- Personally, I wasn’t in love with the jokes - the only one with any spark was the Tina Fey line - but I’m not being asked to perform ‘em or pay to see ‘em.
- There were three joke topics: Alaska, Politics, and Sarah Palin, superstar. I would’ve lumped the jokes about each topic together, rather than spreading them out haphazardly. There didn’t seem to be any real arch or reasoned order to the bits.
On her performance:
- Biggest criticism: Wait for the laughs to start fading. She began each new joke as the reaction was reaching its peak, raising her voice to speak over the noise, rather than letting the laughter & applause at least begin to fade before moving on. She cut off her own energy, instead of letting the momentum build.
- She swallowed some punchlines. Could’ve emphasized the endings of jokes more.
- While in general her presence was good, and she certainly wasn’t monotone, her physicality on the one NRA joke was off. The key part of that bit was her six-shooting “or else” moment, and she didn’t deliver, it just got lost in the general adulation from the crowd.
- Again, she clearly likes talking in front of people, and she’s good at it.
Okay, no concise wrap up from me. It was fine.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to vomit then dust off my law degree.
A program to stop you from wasting time online.
Writing Tips From Writers
Most accurate - Will Self: “Regard yourself as a small corporation of one. Take yourself off on team-building exercises (long walks). Hold a Christmas party every year at which you stand in the corner of your writing room, shouting very loudly to yourself while drinking a bottle of white wine. Then masturbate under the desk. The following day you will feel a deep and cohering sense of embarrassment.”
You may substitute “every Wednesday” for “every year”
“CNN Poll: Majority says government a threat to citizens’ rights”
… because it wants to provide health care.
A few years ago, when it was all about domestic spying, torture, extraordinary rendition, and unjustified war… no big deal.
Health Care Summit first thoughts:
- So far, seems like… R: “We want this! Waah!” D: “That’s what we gave you.” R: “But I have a study I wrote!” #hcr
- Repubs complain that Obama doesn’t know how to do a quad. #hcrsummit
- Health care summit kinda impressive. Or as media put it “One day fails to end 40 years of partisanship” aka “Sisyphus sucks.” #hcr
More to come…
Health Care Summit
Snow-maggaedon
Bill Hicks Day
Take your pick.
Listen, love, think.
Confusion, Laughter, Peace.
Per popular demand, here is your download-able one-stop-shop for Jeff Kreisler.
Jeff Kreisler short bio (word doc - more here)
Get Rich Cheating info (word doc - more here)
Headshot (jpg)
Drove to University of Buffalo - and back - Saturday for a gig. Snowy, sleepy, cold. I had fun. This is what they thought:
“Without a doubt the best event UB College Democrats has ever put on! Jeff was wonderful to work with and absolutely hilarious! We literally laughed until it hurt. After the show, my members and everyone who attended couldn’t help but tell me how wonderful it was and asking how we could get a repeat performance!”
Someone’s been smoking something… but I’ll take it. Thanks all. Good luck rest of this semester and beyond.
That’s a lot of initials to say that ESPN’s “Tuesday Morning Quarterback” gave a nod to “Get Rich Cheating” today. The column, written by Gregg Easterbrook, is a great combination of football insights and cultural, political, and economic commentary. And, obviously, he has good taste in books.
Here’s the relevant passage:
“Of course, I am recommending that in the offseason you read my new book “Sonic Boom.” (I just saw “Sonic Boom” at the front of an airport Borders — seeing a book of mine displayed prominently in an airport bookstore is a new experience, I can assure you.) Of other recently published books, I recommend, in finance, “House of Cards” by William Cohan; in science, “Why We Cooperate” by Michael Tomasello; in politics, “The Science of Liberty” by Timothy Ferris, a look at how 18th century advances in understanding of the found world gave the Framers confidence their views of natural law were correct; in history, “The Lost City of Z” by David Grann; in humor, “Get Rich Cheating” by Jeff Kreisler. ”
I’m performing in Buffalo Saturday night. University of said town.
Please, for the love of (insert name of you imaginary savior), come visit. I can’t imagine Buffalo is too awesome for all of us.
In blocking a nomination - Craig Becker for NLRB - John McCain (R-Maverick) said Becker was “probably the most controversial nominee that I have seen in a long time.”
“Probably?” “A long time?” Could you be a little less specific? No, you probably are unlikely to be able to, at least not in the near future.
Seriously. How political is that? McCain can’t be wrong.
First, “probably.” If Becker’s not whatever-the-rest-of-surly-man-said, no biggee. McCain didn’t say “definitely.” And second, “in a long time.” How is that defined? Fruit fly years or years in a POW camp. Oh, and let’s not forget “controversial.” Well, duh… anything you say is controversial automatically is because it creates an argument - a controversy - even if it’s just about its controversiality (new word!). It’s the TMZ rule.
Should Becker be scientifically found to be the least controversial nominee of the last 2 minutes… McCain still wouldn’t be wrong.
Kudos, JM. May your daughter defend you well.
Save your snowshoes. Caroline’s has decided to cancel tonight’s show due to weather. (Can’t people put on boots?)
Apologies for those who flew across the country and/or cashed out their kids college fund just to see it.
I’ll let you know when it’s rescheduled, bigger and better than ever. (Tentatively March 3 - tentative).
Happy sledding,
Kreisler
Pulled this before Sunday night, but, FYI, as someone who’s spent way too much time on the issue of “great QBs,” let me point out, again, that Peyton Manning’s won exactly once in a playoff game when the game was on his shoulders near the end - 2006/7 AFC Championship v Pats. I’ll give him that. Otherwise, he’s lost every playoff game that wasn’t a relatively comfortable win.
List of Colts playoff games here. (That Chiefs game was 38-24 before the Chiefs scored late and Manning had to run out the clock).
Now can we get back to Montana v. Bradshaw v. Brady v. Aikman (basically in that order)?
Guess which car I test drove last week?
I’ll give you a hint: It’s also the car I really wanted to get.
Here’s another hint: It’s famous.
Ah… oops.
Oh hey! NYC! Comedy show, this Wednesday. 2/10. Caroline’s on Broadway. 9:30pm. It’s a really good one. FB page for info & discount.
“Get Rich Cheating” has been nominated for Best Book by the ECNY Awards, the Oscars of Comedy!
I face strong competition, so, in the spirit of cheating, please vote early & often.
(They’ll send you an email to confirm your vote, not spam).
Do it!
Saturday Night! Live!
Get Rich Cheating.
Part of the San Francisco Sketch Comedy Festival
8pm sharp, The Purple Onion, 140 Columbus Avenue. Map.
Advanced tickets (also at the door).
Hey, I’m on this great fundraiser tonight at Comix with these great acts:
DAVE ATTELL
JANEANE GAROFALO
TODD BARRY
WYATT CENAC
JOHN MULANEY
WIL SYLVINCE
ANTHONY JESELNIK
JEFF KREISLER
EUGENE MIRMAN
AASIF MANDVI
THE WRITERS OF “THE ONION”
You should probably get over there now.
